When I saw the driver of the Hollywood tour bus stop to use the Starbucks restroom and knew I had to seize the moment. I hopped in the drivers seat, drove off with the bus and began to tell my version of the history of Hollywood. I noted the true story that Lassie was played by a chihuahua named Ernie wearing a collie costume. Ed Wood had saved the earth from a real alien invasion by accidentally giving away their scheme in his film Plan 9 From Outer Space. Under the Hollywood sign, I spoke of the clandestine meeting between Satan and Walt Disney that created Disneyland. Legend has it Walt's lawyers were more evil and that is why it is not called Satanland. Now we approach Stage 25 at the Warner Brother Lot which is said to be haunted by the ghost of an actor from a seventies sitcom. Witnesses through the years claim the ghost cannot say the word "Boo" without reading it from a cue card. Finally I brought the bus to the famous Chinese Theater and released the tourists onto the street surrounded by the many Spongebobs, Micheal Jacksons and Supermen. As I said goodbye, I informed the tour to tip heavily because they were actually convicted gang members on a work release program.